How to become friends with an enemy?

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Posted July 14, 2012 by Suman Shafi in Youth World
Harry Potter

This came as a surprise to me! I thought enemies could never be friends they are just someone whom you hate because they did something bad with you. But hey! No one is in their right mind when it comes to taking out anger, taking revenge, or making fun of you. You yourself might have done that to someone. Then that would mean that someone has made you an enemy too right? But the truth is there are many stories around all of us which prove that enemies can actually turn into friends.

Life is too short to hate anyone around you, and one of the most important thing is that the one you hate, might have something which suits you best. Here it is for all of you- how to become friends with your enemy:

  • Find out why that person was your enemy. Did you do something wrong with him/her or a close friend of that person? Be ready to apologize, even if you do not feel like everything was completely your fault.
  • Approach your enemy and tell them that you wish to resolve all the issues that you both had together. Make an apology and ask to start over. Say to them that why you want to be friends with them, and not hate them. Try to talk out the problems you had in the past. Tell this person that all these fights and tiffs is not worth the anger. Instead, you both could have fun together, hang out together as friends do, rather than hating or ignoring each other
  • Prove that enmity is over between the two of you. Share your contact details and email addresses with each other, and tell them that if they ever need something or need someone to talk to, they can call you. By doing this, you are proving that the fights between both of you are completely finished. Make sure that there are no probabilities of your number being misused, and you yourself should also make sure that you do not misuse their number
  • Let the person know you are sincere. Your sincerity will not be proved by only talking. Actions speak louder than words. Smile to the person when he/she sees you, and go out of your way to be nice. Do not get discouraged if their behavior worsens or stays the same- it is likely that they are suspicious of your sudden nice nature. Let them know that they can trust you by continuing to be nice to them.
Fingers Crossed

Be sincere and not deceptive

If you do not feel as though a talk with your enemy is necessary, or you want to be on friendly terms but not necessarily friends, you can start by just smiling and being nice to them when you see them. This will make it clear to them and they will stop holding grudges and hopefully follow your lead.

  • Plan out a time to hang out together. Invite your enemy (but now in the process of being a friend) to play games at your home, get together for games outside house or see a movie. Just anything that shows your enemy that you are definitely not a threat! Adjust to your friendship slowly. Remember this is a new friendship, so do not treat your ex-enemy as your best friend
  • Trust your gut feelings if they tell you to be cautious. Make sure who they are and if they are right in being approached as friends before getting too close. Do not act cold to them; rather than telling them your deep darkest secret, tell them something that you do not care about if it spreads around. See if they tell others. If so, maintain a friendly distance until you know you can trust them
  • A strange but true method- If you are having a one-on-one fight with each other, then stand together in face of authority when you both are caught, and defend each other rather than trying to implicate them. If this does not earn you a friend, it will atleast earn you respect in the eyes of your opponent. Of course, never intentionally start fights

Here is a way to make friends…

Well there you have it! Remove all the hatred, grudges, ego, revenge, or anger from within you. You are not losing anything while making your enemy a friend- you are gaining one more precious stone in your life. And how sure are you that they won’t be good enough with you till you take a step and start somewhere? If you wait for them to step up, forget such expectations. It just takes one good thought and then putting that thought into action is not difficult. Anyone out there- if you feel that your enemy is not worth all the hassles and enmity, this is the time to stop it, make it better, and give it a new direction. :)

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About the Author

Suman Shafi

A Student at Middlesex University, Dubai. Loves to write about things that make you think!