Parent -Youth Relationship: The Disturbances and Resolving
All of those who are reading this would want some development or change with the relationship they share with their parents. Every parent-youth relationship undergoes many turmoil and twists, and during this time, it is very important to understand that what they might think best for you, you may not think the same. But once in life when you realize about it, you feel you should have listened to them in the first place. The question is- why to let such occurrences happen? Why to develop situations when you need to fight with your parents over small things? You should just let go of your judgment that you make about your parents, and always make sure you understand the fact that what they always do and think about you is right, maybe not at that particular time, but for later situations. Situations that cause disturbances.
There are many reasons why today’s youth are not fond of what their parents have to say or they simply do not want to understand. Some of the most common reasons which conflict the relations of youth and parents are listed below:
Changed ways of thinking:
As you get older, you change and grow in many ways. One of the ways is in how you think. The youth does not want to follow the same rules and order as their parents have been doing, and they disregard the importance of knowing even the slightest about them. They might end up asking their parents “what is the meaning of life?”. This kind of questioning can be difficult for parents to answer. It is a time when one should start to think working out the world themselves. Sometimes a youth’s own values and beliefs can become different to parents.
More arguments-more issues:
As a youth grows elder, it becomes difficult for the parents to not argue with them. Life becomes more complicated when parents find difficulties in stopping the argument somewhere, but they achieve no success in it.
As a young person, your parents would be the leaders of the family. But as you grow into an older youth, you feel matured, and this leads to an equal relationship between parent-youth where all of you can relate on the same level. The process of moving from one type of relationship to another can be a real struggle, and parents are held responsible for all the actions, even if it’s the youth’s own mistake.
As an individual, a youth is changing. Their thought processes, what they do, wear, eat, like, hate and say are developing and getting matured all the way. They are going through an identity crisis, and while they struggle to become adult matures, parents at the same time are going through a mid-life crisis.
Parents coping with changes in youth:
It was easy for parents before when their children would listen to them and they would find it easy to make them understand with their own thinking. But as they grow into elder youths, parents find it hard to keep up. It’s a time when a youth wants some independence, and find ways of living their life with their own ways. Youth want to think and speak for themselves, to form their own values and opinions, to think about lifestyle and tastes, having privacy, and to be your own person. In short, youth want to form their own identity! It can be hard for parents to get used to these changes and the new emerging you!!!
Parents wanting to protect you:
For youths, their parents protecting them is like parents invading their privacy or not letting them live their lives with the independency they want to live. Parents always suggest that life is not a wonderful place as it is, and they are more aware that young people fall into risk with difficult or possibly dangerous situations. All of the suggestion could be seen as a form of lecture for the youth. They do not see the fear parents have in order to protect them from harm, and feel that parents are interfering with their so-called “awesome life.” What parents want is keep it safe. This mismatch of understanding end up in hassles and arguments. It takes a bit of give and take on both sides to work it out.
Parents always think they are right:
This thinking might be there because parents have had more life experiences and sometimes do know more often that a youth. On the other hand, sometimes parents are reluctant to admit the times when a youth knows more about something than they do.
There is no solution without understanding each other, and this requires listening and acting upon what is told. A youth should respect every discussion they do with their parents. Parents do not do it for their betterment, but for their child. Avoid accusing them over wrong doings that ultimately led to something completely wrong in your life (for instance you wanted to go to a party, but you were not allowed to go). It does not mean this is the end of the world- try to understand why they did not allow you to go!! Furthermore, use a team approach about what you want in common and workout together on how you can get there.
Communication is an important development between parent-youth relationship. Each of them need to listen, understand the meaning, be clear and patient while at the same time, your body language is important too. Parents need to realize that young youth need to learn about life for themselves. This is also a learning time for parents- learning when to step back and when to step in. Sometimes the best way of learning is by our own mistakes but at other times it is best to listen to other people’s wisdom. If it is something that can affect your life for a long time to come, or if it will affect other people, advice and suggestion from parents is very important for the youth. This helps parents to trust their youth if they can see what their child is really thinking about the consequences and about what you do.
Hope these pointers help each one of you to develop a better relation with your parents. Always trust them, look up to them, and understand them as your role models- they will never let your directions mould in a wrong way!!
In the spirit of this post…